On...

Loneliness

It is the very nature of any soul to exist together with at least another, and then still others. When one stands psychologically without another there is constant longing, quiet desperation or even pathology.

Our natural human state is one of connection and intimacy with our world and the people in it. Isolation and disconnection are contrary to our nature. Bonding with others is the basis for inner soul connections.

When we isolate ourselves intentionally or through circumstances and experience loneliness two things happen:

1. We alienate ourselves from our essence, who we are, the soul within.

2. Our body begins to reduce its production of a very important lymphocyte, which is called a natural killer cell, that scours the body and eliminates cancer and virus-infected cells.

Isolation is stressful for both men and women. Men who are widowed have a significant increase in illness and death for up to two years after the death of their spouse. Psychologists call isolation for women ego-dystonic, which means it is foreign to their natural way of being, which is strongly relational.

The complete opposite of loneliness is a committed relationship. Commitment therefore also produces the opposite symptoms – strengthened immune system, better health, quality relationships in general, and more joy.

In the final analysis, we feel lonely not because we don’t have a partner but because we are not at home or comfortable with ourselves. Loneliness results from lack of adequate relationship with the soul within ourselves, and the consequent lack of opportunity to express soul love through external relationships. This fact suggests that in order to have a committed relationship there must first of all be a commitment to the soul life within ourselves. Often the lack of inner connection is substituted in an outer relationship, but when that relationship no longer exists then the emptiness of disconnection from self comes to the surface.

Love of others and commitment to others begins with the ancient dictum: Know thyself. The word self is equivalent to Spirit. We cannot directly know Spirit, but we can know the Self through the presence of Spirit in our soul. Spirit is the life of any being. To know Spirit means then to know ourselves and others as our very life. It is being fully present without reference to anything else.

Exercises: 1. Evaluate your relationships. How committed are you? 2. How present are you when you are with others? 3. How vulnerable and intimate are you willing to be in close relationships? 4. What do you do to deepen your relationship with your Self?

This is one of 150 Soul Perspective articles. For more articles visit Soul Perspectives Index.

Andrew and Bonnie Schneider are now offering personal interactive email coaching for the 4 Level Soul Journey program. Connect weekly with Andrew and Bonnie on how to develop soul consciousness. Read more about this personal coaching from Andrew and Bonnie Schneider by clicking here.