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The Blame Game

Sometimes our problems in life seem to be caused by our inappropriate relationship to certain aspects of our outer life – such as money, work and relationships. Despite appearances, however, almost always our problems result from inappropriate or insufficient relationship to the inner realms. That relationship to the inner realms cannot be developed except through first creating the link to the higher mind which is done through seeing the bigger picture or understanding the meaning of why something happens.

Inappropriate and difficult relationships often result in negative judgements of others, which is but a projection of our own lack of loving attitude toward ourselves. This frequently takes the form of blame. Negatively judging others uses the will inappropriately. Because it involves the imposition of our will, it diminishes the life force in another who is being judged. Blame and guilt (a form of self-blame) are both life-diminishing.

When someone is blamed, they will likely react defensively as though their life were being threatened, because in actual fact their life energy is being threatened. This is the message that registers in their brain. Their reaction is an attempt to hold on to their life energy.

Most people do not accept that their experiences are caused by their perceptions, based on the fundamental relationship that they have with themselves. Therefore when anything happens they do not like, or that they find unacceptable, they are quick to blame others for causing it. This way of thinking gets repeated daily in the media and is the basis for litigation in our legal systems. The blame-game is dangerous, but is culturally supported.

The difference between blaming and acknowledging cause is that blaming involves condemnation and wrong-making (which are value judgements), while acknowledging cause is recognizing an objective fact in the cause-effect relationship without reference to right or wrong or any other values.

In personal relationships people often want love in the form of acceptance, understanding or support from the very individuals they are blaming, but may not be aware of that. When someone is blamed, they certainly are not inclined to show love toward the ones who are blaming them. That is very difficult to do for anyone. If someone is not getting the love they want, they should examine their own attitudes toward the people from whom they expect love. And also examine their lack of love toward themselves.

When we find ourselves blaming someone or something, perhaps we could use the occasion to examine our relationship with ourselves, the soul within, and ask ourselves the following questions…

Exercises: 1. What can I learn from this situation that would make me a better person? 2. What is the meaning in this situation that would enable me to express some virtue or soul quality? 3. Am I shirking some responsibility and want to put the responsibility for what I am feeling on someone else? 4. Do I really want love or something specific from the one I am blaming but either do not realize that or do not know how to ask for it?

This is one of 150 Soul Perspective articles. For more articles visit Soul Perspectives Index.

Andrew and Bonnie Schneider are now offering personal interactive email coaching for the 4 Level Soul Journey program. Connect weekly with Andrew and Bonnie on how to develop soul consciousness. Read more about this personal coaching from Andrew and Bonnie Schneider by clicking here.